My boy turned one last week, the year has flown by in what feels like a blink of an eye. I have had the most wonderful year being a mama to my two littles, I love watching them grow up together and become friends. No one can make this little man laugh quite like his big sister can and I love how he still gets hiccups whenever he giggles. He is just so calm and laid back, yet with a cheeky little personality, he is a total pleasure to be around.
The year hasn't been without challenges, it certainly wasn't easy being at home with a newborn and a tempestuous two year old. Trying to breastfeed one and usher another towards the potty were my main objectives of the day at the start and as exhausting as it was, there was no where else I would have wanted to be.
Next week I am due to return to work part- time. Society dictates that as an educated career woman, I am supposed eagerly await my return to work and so I can have 'real' conversations with adults and assert my new found independence. But I don't. It just feels wrong. I wish that I could stay home with my babies, discussing how many Tiaras Princess Sofia has with my almost three year old and watch my son learn to take his first few steps.
I have done this before so you would think it would be easier returning to work a second time, it isn't! Once again I feel like my heart is being broken. You see, even though I work I am still a full time mother, yet in the office I am supposed to act as though my children don't exist. I am supposed to be two different people. But I am not, these two little people will always be a part of me no matter what, and I will always be their Mama